Download or read book Paint the Town Black written by Arthur Black and published by Harbour Publishing. This book was released on 2015-05-02 with total page 221 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Arthur Black’s best lines are like a shot of whisky—sharp, invigorating and with a good kick. Following the success of his many previous titles, the multiple-award-winning humorist once again delivers “black-to-black” laughs with his latest collection, Paint the Town Black. With his usual off-kilter perspective, Black tackles many of the pressing topics of the day, including some positive PR for the swastika, the sometimes fatal effects of poor penmanship and the burning question of whether one-time Thunder Bay mayor Walter “Jolly Wally” Assef really did pat the queen’s bum. The answer: “Somebody must have tipped Prince Philip off about the mayor’s meandering mitts because Phil watched Wally like a hawk. Wally’s hands never got near the royal end zone.” Many edifying historical facts are cunningly hidden among the laughs. For instance, how many Canadians remember Gerda Munsinger, the probable Soviet spy who got deported for sleeping her way through half of Diefenbaker’s cabinet? And then there’s Senator Incitatus, whose office was made of marble and who literally ate gold for lunch. Don’t worry, this isn’t one of Harper’s recent appointees—Incitatus was a racehorse appointed to the Roman senate by his owner, Emperor Caligula. So settle into your favourite chair, pour yourself a shot of something strong and get ready to Paint the Town Black.