Download or read book Steve Allen's Private Joke File written by Steve Allen and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why Did Steve Allen Cross the Road? Steve Allen is a legend among comedians and entertainers. He's been playing to audiences on stage, radio, film, and television for more than fifty years, gaining acclaim for his unique wit and energy. Now for the first time, he shares more than a thousand of his favorite one-liners, anecdotes, limericks, quotes, and other generally funny things. The entries are divided into nearly two hundred categories to make it easy for anyone to find the right laugh for any occasion. If you're faced with the prospect of having to "say a few words," Steve Allen's Private Joke File is the perfect place to look for ideas and inspiration on such topics as awards, drinking, baseball, lawyers, dentists, insurance, marriage, the stock market, and dozens of other subjects. A sampling: * My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine! * If ignorance is bliss, he should die of joy. * "How are the acoustics here?" "Great, I can hardly hear you!" * I learned to rumba very early in life ... I had a tricycle with a loose seat. * Room for rent, by young lady, freshly plastered. Steve Allen has also included a number of his favorite essays and monologues. Steve Allen's Private Joke File is great to flip through for fun or for function, and for those of us looking for a good laugh -- to give one or to have one -- it's indispensable.